"Fours desire belonging more than any other number and live with the illusion that someone else can complete them." -Suzanne Stabile
In general, Fours are admittedly somewhat difficult to understand for others. They are complex in that they feel misunderstood, want to be deeply understood, but still resist being completely understood.
They crave intensity. Fours don't just feel emotions, they are their emotions, and they want people who will match them with intensity.
They want authenticity. They want deep and real. And because of that, it’s hard to have more than a couple really close relationships. Baring themselves that deeply can be draining, especially when they are unhealthy.
Fours are comfortable with melancholy but are seldom depressed. Fours are attracted to tragedy, and they will create tragedy when there isn’t some.
Fours long for deep, authentic, real relationships.
They can't sustain more than a few deep relationships at a time.
Fours do not want their feelings dismissed or fixed, but they need deeply for someone to listen and try to understand.
Fours are attracted to the ideal, someone that can complete them or fix what they feel is deficient.
They are very aware that they are intense, so they will back off, but then they are scared to lose the relationship and will pull back hard. This push-pull is confusing or draining to most other numbers.
Fours aren't afraid of other people's feelings, and they are good at leaving space for others.
Stances are formed by which of the centers of intelligence is repressed. For Fours, it is doing. It isn't that Fours don't do things; they just do random things that they get energy for and neglect the tasks that need to be done. Fours have trouble prioritizing urgent and important tasks, and they have even more trouble completing mundane, routine chores like laundry and grocery shopping.